Shame

A lot of what I’ve been through in my life has resulted in a whole lot of shame. ⠀
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Divorce at a young age = Shame ⠀
Verbal Abuse Victim = Shame⠀
Depression = Shame ⠀
Trauma = Shame⠀
Infertility = Shame ⠀
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To name a few. ⠀
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This picture is a perfect representation of what I want to do when shame hits. ⠀
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Shame makes me want to retreat. ⠀
Deny the existence of the experience. ⠀
Live through my pain secretly. ⠀
Isolate. ⠀
Hide. ⠀
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But you gotta wonder why I feel shame about: ⠀
1. Experiences I have little control over (depression, infertility, trauma)⠀
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2. An experience that led me to a better path (divorce) ⠀
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3. An experience thrust on me by someone else (verbal abuse)⠀
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I think I’ve figured out where the shame comes from. The experiences I’ve been through that I mentioned aren’t talked about by many people. When people do speak about the topic, a lot of the narrative is negative. Divorce is frowned upon. Mental illness is stigmatized. Domestic abuse victims are often blamed. Infertility is taboo. ⠀
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A lot of the opinions out there make me feel ashamed to have been through even one of these experiences, never mind the whole lot. And I’m not even out of the thick of things. ⠀
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I’m still infertile AF⠀
I’m still coping with trauma⠀
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The light at the end of this is that I have dealt with most of my shame. Ever since I started speaking up about everything I’ve gone through, the shame has reduced exponentially. There’s so many of us out there dealing with exactly what I’ve been through. ⠀
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The tribe of souls who have walked in my shoes are many. ⠀
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Speaking up has allowed me to see this. ⠀
I will continue to speak and advocate until the tribe is louder than those who fuel collective shame and stigma. ⠀
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Anyone else in the tribe want to share your truth? Comment below to help dismantle shame and end stigma!