5 Tips for IEP Meetings In A New School Year

As a mom with experience on both sides of the Individualized Education Program (IEP) table, the new school year can bring confusion and frustration to both new families and those experienced with the special education process. Here are five tips to help!

1. Educate Yourself on the Law

Research if your school district has a local Special Education Parent Advisory Council (SEPAC). They frequently will put on workshops that can help you understand your rights. If not, ask online or at your local library for books that can help you learn more about the process. 

2. Don’t Go Alone

Ideally, both parents can attend. There are several reasons for this. If you are with your child’s other parent - It is good for your relationship as a couple. While having one parent being the “go-to” for meetings and doctor appointments is common, it can also be a contributor to resentment building over time and can make the not “attending partner” feel disconnected and out of the loop. It is also helpful for your reputation with your child’s school that they see a united team, even if you are no longer in a relationship with the other parent. If that isn’t possible or doesn’t fit your family situation, then bring a friend. There is a lot of educational jargon, decision-making, and topics that are discussed. Having someone with you to take some notes and be a sounding board over coffee afterwards is essential. An hour plus of discussing areas of growth can also feel overwhelming. A shoulder to cry on after an emotional meeting is always beneficial. 

3. Bring A Treat

Your relationship with the team is crucial to your child’s success. Educators, administrators and classroom specialists have limited time, too many students on their caseload, and are human beings with their own lives and responsibilities. I try to bring a box of joe or baked goods to our yearly meetings because I want the team to know that I appreciate them, and I come in good faith. That does not mean that I go along with everything they say. I worked in the public school system for over a decade and while I truly believe educators have the best of intentions, there is always bureaucracy and other factors at play.

4. Draft A Vision Statement

A major piece of the IEP planning process is creating a vision statement. A vision statement is your long-term goals, think about the next five years, for your child. This is when you think about the whole person and everything you want to see them doing in the future. While this is a team process, creating a draft vision statement to bring with you can be a helpful centring activity and a great way to incorporate your child's voice as they grow.  

5. You are the Best Advocate for your Child

There may come a time during a meeting when you feel uneasy or disagree with something that is recommended. Do not ignore this feeling. You are an important member of the team and your voice matters. You are your child's best advocate and the model from which your child learns to advocate for themselves. Take a few deep breaths, and bring up your concerns. It is important to be respectful in this moment and stay calm and collected. People only listen when they feel safe and a parent raising their voice during a meeting is a recipe for not being heard. It’s understandable to be emotional when frustrated while advocating but keep in mind the adage “You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”

Katherine Lockwood is a mental health therapist, prior educator, and award-winning author of several picture books focused on providing authentic and empowering disability representation for children. You can learn more about her books: Everyone’s Invited!; OUCH!; and My Body Beeps! on her website https://www.acorncottagepress.com/#/ & Amazon.