Stressed Out Mom? Here's How Not to Snap

Being a mom isn’t easy, especially in the modern world when we all have so much to do. From tantrumming toddlers and moody teenagers to stressful jobs and seemingly endless chores, it is not surprising that many modern moms are on the verge of snapping.

If that sounds all too familiar, and you are stressed out, burnt out and on the verge of snapping completely, it’s time to take a step back and start taking better care of yourself.

With that in mind, here are a few things you can do to lower your stress levels and avoid snapping right now:

Stop bringing work stress home

This is going to be tough, but if you want to avoid getting so stressed out that you feel like you are about to snap, then one of the best things you can do is to try and compartmentalize your home and work life.

There are a number of ways you can do this, but one of the best is venting to co-workers or friends about the challenges of your job, instead of bringing it home to your family, who might not understand as much about what you are going through. So, leave those negative work feelings behind you when you walk through the door at home.

Make time or something you love

Yes, you might be a busy mom who works 8 hours a day and then has to come home and cook for the family, put the baby to bed and take the dog for a walk, but you are important and your own needs matter!

If you don’t want to burn out, then, you need to fit in time just for you; time to do something you really love that will allow you to have lots of fun. This could be anything from blocking out one hour a week to have coffee with a good friend or joining the local softball team so you can get out and get active while meeting new people a couple of times each week.

Schedule this fun activity into your diary as you would your work and childcare commitments so that you are more likely to stick to it, and hand off childcare duties to dad or grandma or someone else you trust for a short while. Everything will be fine.

Get help with parenting challenges

One of the best things about being a parent is that you are far from the first person to ever have a child, and you’re certainly not the first person to struggle with various aspects of parenting such as potty training or teenage angst.

This means that, if you are struggling with any aspect of being a parent, you don’t have to do it alone. You can ask your mom how she dealt with your unwillingness to go to bed at night or you can enrol in a 3-day potty training method course to get help with toilet training. You can vent to your friends about parenting issues you are having and ask them for their advice. 

You really do not have to go through the challenges of parenthood alone.

Get real about relaxation

If you are reaching the point of snapping, then it can be useful to take a step back from whatever is causing you stress and take a few deep breaths. This is the most simple form of relaxation there is and it really does give you some breathing space to calm down and relax away from your problems.

Of course, this is far from the only relaxation technique that you can learn, and if you want to be the kind of mom who does not snap, then you should probably learn some of them sooner, rather than later because your kids can and will challenge you eventually even if they have been easy so far.

Meditation is a particularly useful relaxation technique for frazzled moms to use because you can meditate in as little as 5 minutes and still see the benefits of doing so. Not only that, but meditation helps you to clear your head, stop focusing on negative thoughts, and live your life in a calmer, more present way - all things that will help with being a parent.

If you can get your kids to meditate with you from a young age, they will undoubtedly grow up healthier mentally as a result, and you will have a great way of helping them calm down when they are stressed or upset.
Take some time out and seek support

Parents can be afraid of admitting that they are struggling, so they soldier on and shoulder all of the burdens of parenting when, realistically, they would be better off asking friends or family members to step in and take on some of the load.

There is no shame admitting that you are having a hard time with your kids. There is also no shame in asking your mom to take the kids out for lunch one day so you can have a break or having your spouse take the kids out on a hike so you can gather your thoughts. You don’t, and should not, have to bottle it up and “keep on keeping on” when your stress or anxiety is affecting your own health. If you aren’t well, you can’t be there for your kids in the long term, and most of the time, friends and family members will be only too happy to help facilitate a little time out for you.

Hang out with fellow parents

One of the best things you can do as a parent is to hang out with other parents who are at the same stage of parenthood as you. If you have friends who are going through the terrible twos when you are, then you will be able to get more sympathy and more fresh ideas to deal with it from other parents than you might find elsewhere.

Just knowing you are not the only one going through it, and knowing that you can vent and maybe share a few laughs about your situation with someone else who is going through it right now, can make all the difference and help to diffuse any stress and tension you are feeling.

Stop doing too much

So many of us have mom guilt which means we think we need to do it all. From helping out at the kid’s school to volunteering to make costumes for Halloween to hosting endless playdates, to housework and spending time with the family, it can all be a lot!

You need to know that it is okay to say NO. Obviously, it’s nice to help out when you can and it’s good to do lots of fun things with family and friends, but if you are already feeling stressed, then it is fine to say no and take some time for yourself. In fact, doing so will make you a better mom, a better friend and a better employee overall, so don’t sweat it.

When you’re a mom, there are always going to be times when life is more challenging than others, but if you take onboard all of the tips presented here, and you actually make time for yourself, then you will find that you feel calmer more often and that those times when you feel like you’ve reached your breaking point become fewer and far between. Sounds good, right?