How to Handle a Difficult Conversation

There are going to be moments in life when we all need to have difficult conversations. From financial discussions to conversations about relationships, the subject matters may differ from person to person. However, what does not change is your need to handle these conversations effectively. With that being said, continue reading to discover some tips on how to handle a difficult conversation. 

Be clear about the issue 

Make sure it’s the appropriate time to talk and there are no other distractions. Remember that the person on the other end of the conversation deserves respect throughout the conversation and they also deserve a clear message about the issue. Some topics will be harder to talk about than others, for example, gambling problems and addictions to different things, like drugs, alcohol or a pornography addiction; however, it’s vital to make sure that you’re clear about the issue.

How do you do this? It’s important that you prepare for the discussion you are going to have. There are two key questions to ask here. The first is: what exactly is the behaviour that is resulting in the issue? The second is: what is the impact of this behaviour on you and other people? This will help you be clear with the person you’re speaking to, whether it is in a professional or personal capacity. 

Maintain the ground rules 

There are several different ground rules that you need to follow when you are having a difficult conversation with another person. This includes staying at the same eye level as the other person, as much as is possible. You also need to make sure you speak calmly, in a matter-of-fact tone, as well as speaking directly to the other person. In addition to this, avoid threats, insults, put-downs, cursing, screaming, yelling, and name-calling. You also need to make sure you do not finger-point; both literally and figuratively, in terms of blaming the other person. 

Make sure you keep to the topic at hand 

It’s also important to make sure that you do not stray away from the topic. Bringing up complaints or issues that relate to other topics or events from the past is always going to interfere with healthy communication during the conversation you’re having. Save those issues for another time. If they are still important to you, then you are going to remember them at a later date. 

Don’t blame the other person; take responsibility for how you feel 

Last but not least, it’s important to use statements that start with “I” rather than blaming the other person. After all, no one else can make you feel the way you do. Be specific and clear about what the other person did that contributed to making you feel the way you do; however, make sure you focus on the actual behaviours of the other person, rather than saying things like “you make me so mad.”

Hopefully, you’re now better equipped the next time you need to have a difficult conversation. No matter the nature of the conversation, the importance of approaching it correctly cannot be ignored.